I miss O&P

Crippling hurt

An unforgiving absence

An always growing abscess

I miss you more then I could say…

A pain that never goes away.

And even if you returned;

We'd never get back the time lost…

I try to forget sometimes,

But im lost.

How did we deserve this fate?

If at the beginning,

I foresaw this ending,

I'd have taken more days off.

You meant more than fighting for a shit job.

More than pride cost…

I miss you soooo much…

If I could explain it,

They wouldn't understand.

The type of shit to break a man.

Apologies, if I should be, spontaneously,

Sullen…

Memories of you seem to push that button.

And I want to blame anyone else;

Anything else.

All of that helps.

Yet not enough…

Tattoos, piercings, all that stuff…

It's my fault,

I keep saying.

It echoes over still water in cold caves;

They argue the otherwise

But I know

I know

It is.

The tears won't show, though do exist,

They close my throat,

And pinch my lids.

When I'm alone I don't resist.

It's perfect at night

When it's not so bright,

Driving solo;

I have permission.

It's hard to steer with watered vision.

And they can't judge,

Nor hear my shame.

I loved you…

I soooo much…

Life won't be the same…

The soft spot,

The regret,

The regard, remains.